The Three “A’s” of Listening

Some misconceptions about listening:

 

a.       Listening is passive. NO—It requires an active responder;

b.       Listening involves getting meaning from words. NO—There are many implied meanings and unspoken feelings;

c.       Listening is only an “ear” activity. NO—You need to listen with your eyes, ears, and heart; and

 

Types of Listening

 

Attentive Listening: In attentive listening, you are demonstrating interest by giving your full attention to the speaker without any interruption You are giving direct eye contact and leaning slightly forward. You are acknowledging the person with a smile or a nod or any other nonverbal cue of approval. When you listen attentively, you are communicating that you care about what the person is saying. When people are allowed to speak in a relaxed way, they are better able to think clearly.

 

Active Listening: In active listening, you continue to show interest, yet this time you are responding in a number of ways.

You may be summarizing or restating what someone has said.

You may be asking clarifying questions.

You may be asking for elaboration or for more detail.

 

Affirmative Listening: In affirmative listening, you are listening for the person’s emotions and feelings.

Your questions and responses show that you are validating the person.

You are demonstrating caring, empathy, and respect.

You are going into a deeper level to find the meaning behind the statement.

 

LISTENING STRATEGIES FOR CONFLICT RESOLUTION

QUESTIONING AND RESPONDING SKILLS

 

ACTIVE LISTENING

 

·         AM I HEARING YOU SAY....? IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU WERE..... SO YOU BELIEVE THAT.........?

·         LET ME MAKE SURE THAT I’VE GOTTEN ALL THE INFORMATION ABOUT THIS SITUATION............... HAVE I LEFT ANYTHING OUT?

·         CAN I CLARIFY SOMETHING? BEFORE YOU SAID THAT... DID YOU MEAN....?

·         CAN YOU EXPAND MORE ON THIS THOUGHT?

·         HOW DID THIS AFFECT YOU?

·         IS THERE ANOTHER WAY OF EXPLAINING THIS?

·         WHERE DO YOU SUPPOSE THAT WILL LEAD?

·         HOW MIGHT THIS AFFECT OTHERS?

·         HOW IS THIS SITUATION LIKE OTHERS YOU HAVE FACED?

·         WHAT OTHER CHOICES DID YOU CONSIDER?

·         WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SEE HAPPEN?

 

AFFIRMATIVE LISTENING

 

·         YOU SEEMED VERY CONCERNED ABOUT…

·         YOU WERE VERY EAGER TO…

·         IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE VERY PROUD OF…

·         I CLEARLY UNDERSTAND HOW YOU MUST FEEL ABOUT.... I’VE EXPERIENCED THAT MYSELF.

·         I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR WILLINGNESS TO TALK ABOUT…

·         I CAN SEE HOW THIS SITUATION (FRUSTRATES) (PLEASES) YOU.

·         WHEN YOU SAID..... THAT REALLY RANG A BELL FOR ME BECAUSE…

·         IT MUST BE VERY (SATISFYING) (DIFFICULT) FOR YOU WHEN...

·        REGARDING........... WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO YOU?

 

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