The following
real-life conflict situations illustrate our three-part strategy of conflict
resolutions across cultures: paraphrasing, postponing judgment, and expanding
options. Read the scenarios below and then answer the questions.
Case 1
Two
Filipino secretaries are at the office copier laughing about an incident that
occurred over the weekend. Their conversation is animated and is being carried
on in Tagalog, their native language.
Lin-Su
Tan, a Taiwanese coworker, approaches to make some of her own copies. They
acknowledge her presence briefly and then continue their conversation in
Tagalog.
A
sore point in this particular office has been the tendency of these two workers
to speak a language that most of the other employees can’t understand.
This
situation has made Lin-Su uncomfortable, yet her first instinct is always to
ignore it. This time she decides to deal with the situation as well as her
mounting frustration. Using her conflict-resolution skills, she thinks for a
moment (non-reactive strategy). Then she says, “Maria and Elenita, I can see
you’re enjoying your conversation. It must feel good to talk to someone else
who understands completely what you’re saying” (disarming).
The
two secretaries look a little surprised but agree, confirming Lin-Su’s
assumption. “I can really understand that feeling. When I talk to my aunt in
Chinese, I can see how much she appreciates it. At work, however, it’s a
different story because English is our only common language. When I hear you
speaking Tagalog in front of me, I feel left out and wonder if you’re talking
about me. Help me figure out what we can do about this.”
A
further discussion results in an understanding that although it is very
important to the Tagalog speakers to be able to understand each other
completely, they needed to look at ways to avoid excluding others in the
office. During discussion, they explored when it would be acceptable to use
Tagalog and when it would be appropriate to speak only English.
·
What happened here?
·
At what point did Lin-Su start to use a conflict-resolution
strategy?
·
What disarming techniques were used?
·
How did a potential conflict become a
problem-solving discussion?
·
What were the cultural values in this conflict?
·
What intercultural skills were put into play?
Case 2
An
African American vice principal was coming out of the school auditorium when he
spotted a group of young white men whom he didn’t recognize as students. They
had close-cropped hair and clothes that branded them as outsiders.
Assuming
that they were skinheads coming to stir up problems, the vice principal’s first
response was to order them off campus. As he approached them and saw by their
postures that they clearly expected a confrontation, he changed his mind.
Instead,
he held out his hand and introduced himself by name. The young men, who were
visibly surprised, stammered out their names. He said, “I don’t believe I’ve
seen you around here before, but I’m interested in knowing why you’re here.”
“We’re
here because we think white students aren’t getting a fair shake,” replied one
of the leaders of the group. “We understand that minorities are getting special
treatment!”
“Aha!”
said the principal. “So you’re concerned about fairness. . . . Well, so am I.
Tell me what you’ve heard that gives the impression that things are not fair
around here. Why don’t we sit down at this table here in the courtyard.”
An
interesting discussion followed, after which the young men left the campus and
agreed that they would like to talk more about the topic.
·
What happened here?
·
At what point did the vice principal start to
use a conflict-resolution strategy?
·
What disarming techniques were used?
·
How did a potential conflict become a
problem-solving discussion?
·
What were the cultural values in this conflict?
·
What intercultural skills were put into play?
Case 3
A
male foreign student from a Middle Eastern country strode into the office of
the director of the campus language lab and confronted the white woman sitting
behind the desk. “You’ve made a terrible mistake,” he shouted. “My sister was
placed in a level much too low for her ability. I’ve already complained to the
teacher and nothing was done. My sister must be moved to a higher level
immediately or I will take her to another school.”
The
director stifled her first response, which was to tell him that his behavior
was inappropriate, that his sister’s group level was based on a valid placement
test, and that the decision was final.
Instead,
she stood up and said, “I can see you are concerned about your sister and are
here to help her. Why don’t you sit down and tell me more about her skills, and
why this is so important to you. Then we can look at the placement test and see
if the decision was the right one for her.”
They
had a lengthy discussion, examining the situation and exploring ways that the
sister might be closely observed as to her real ability or actually re-tested.
·
What happened here?
·
At what point did the lab director start to use
a conflict-resolution strategy?
·
What disarming techniques were used?
·
How did a potential conflict become a
problem-solving discussion?
·
What were the cultural values in this conflict?
(Think about face-saving, the confrontational style of some cultures,
male/female dynamics.)
·
What intercultural skills were put into play?
·
Think about some specific intercultural
conflicts in which you have been involved. What worked well and what other
strategies might you have applied to get productive results?
Conflict, as an
inevitable part of life, can be either damaging or energizing, either
destructive or creative. It can end relationships or enhance them. We believe
that a dual perspective is important: understanding one’s own culture and
values and, in turn, being able to look at other people’s cultures and accept
their different approaches. We believe in a joint search for mutual solutions.
Agreement that meets interests or needs rather than demands is more effective
than winning a point or being right.
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