Sondra Thiederman, Ph.D.
800-858-4478
Excerpted with permission from
Getting
“CULTURE SMART”
Strategy I
Learn About Differences
“Just
Because We Are Equal
Does
Not Mean We Are The Same.”
Anonymous
This
sentiment lies at the heart of what it takes to relate effectively to people
who are different from ourselves and is the first step in our process to become
“CULTURE SMART ”.
There
are differences between people and some of these are the result of cultural or
group conditioning and shared values.
There may, for example, be differences between men and women, between
Asians and African-Americans, and between Mexicans and Puerto Ricans. Of course, not everybody shares the norms of
his or her group, but we see group differences often enough to make them worth
exploring.
Learning
about the specific values, etiquette, needs, and attitudes of diverse
customers, colleagues, and employees can help us relate to them more
successfully.
Fortunately,
you do not need to be an anthropologist or expert on all life styles, races,
cultures, or gender differences in order to understand these groups. You do, however, need to practice specific
skills with which to gather the necessary information.
Even
though each of these skills is simple to practice, many people resist them
because of several misconceptions about the nature of cultural differences.
Misconception 1: “If I look
at differences, I am in danger of stereotyping all members of a group.”
Truth: If we guard against the
temptation to stereotype, it is a simple matter to apply our knowledge only to
one individual at a time.
Misconception 2: “If I look at
differences, it means I am looking down on the other person or group.”
Truth: The opposite is true. By considering cultural differences, we are
honoring people for who they are as individuals and are in a far better
position to respect their needs and concerns.
Misconception 3: “If I notice
the differences between people, I am somehow implying that we are too different
to be friends.”
Truth: Think about the friends you
have now. Many of them are no doubt
very different from yourself - older, from different countries, possessing
different tastes and practicing various lifestyles. These differences obviously did not keep you from becoming
friends and in fact might have added to your relationship.
Although no one can have an encyclopedic knowledge of all groups, learning about the differences between people is always valuable. (Example: Failing to understand what motivates a diverse employee or pleases an international colleague can interfere with effective, and fair, business practices.)
The
following four skills are designed to help you gather information and begin the
process of building your knowledge of cultural differences.
Skill 1: Ask Questions.
·
If your attitude is one
of genuine concern and respect, your questions will not bring offense.
·
Put aside any worry
about appearing ignorant. No one can
know all there is about any group and your questions will only serve to
demonstrate your interest in the other person.
·
Do not ask questions
when the other party is embarrassed or in a crisis. During times like these, people tend to feel vulnerable and
defensive.
·
Ask questions in private
unless more than one person is involved.
·
Ask questions before
entering a diverse environment - for example, before going overseas, so as to
avoid embarrassment later.
·
Before asking a
question, reveal information about yourself in a related area. This demonstrates your willingness to be
open and vulnerable.
·
Explain why you are
asking the question.
Skill 2: Double Check The Information
Gained.
·
Do not take any one
person's word for the accuracy of information.
·
Recognize that individual
members of any group are diverse among themselves and that the opinion of one
person will not apply to everyone.
·
Realize that people
change through time. Someone, for
example, who is newly arrived in this country is apt to have very different attitudes
from someone who has been here for several years.
Skill 3: Observe Behaviors.
·
Be aware that
observation is the least accurate method for gathering information because any
behavior can easily be misunderstood.
·
Look to see if more than
one person is behaving in the same way - this will help establish whether the
behavior is general to the group or specific to the individual.
·
Follow-up observations
with more questions. This is the only
way that you can be certain that your interpretation of the behavior is
correct.
Skill 4: Read and Attend Workshops.
·
Remember that all
authors and trainers bring their own perspective to the material. In order to get a balanced perspective, be
certain to look at a variety of sources.
·
Question the material
and bring your own experiences to it.
·
Be careful of
misinterpreting information that is presented out of context. (Example:
Checklists of specific cultural characteristics can be misleading and
dangerous.)
We
all hesitate to acknowledge the differences between groups. Fears of intruding and appearing ignorant
combine with concerns about offending others to immobilize one of our most
basic instincts - curiosity.
Think
about it. How do we learn? WE LEARN BY
ASSERTIVE INQUIRY, OBSERVATION, AND EXPERIENCE.
This
applies as much to learning about diverse groups as it does to history,
electronics, or computers. Open your
eyes, use your best judgment, and, most important, be willing to really listen
to the new ideas and perspectives that our diverse environment has to offer.
Strategy II
Look for Commonalities
“Let
us not be blind to our differences, but let us also direct attention to our
common interests and the means by which those differences can be resolved.”
John F. Kennedy
This
chapter is based on one premise:
ALL
HUMAN BEINGS—NO MATTER HOW DIFFERENT IN BACKGROUND—SHARE CERTAIN CORE VALUES
AND NEEDS AND THESE COMMONALITIES SERVE AS A FOUNDATION FOR GOOD BUSINESS AND
PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS.
Despite
the differences uncovered using the skills outlined in Strategy I, we must also
remember to look for the things that we share.
Using
the skills mentioned here, commonalities can be found:
·
Between yourself and a
client, customer, colleague, or staff member.
·
Between members of your
team or staff.
·
Between your staff and a
diverse customer or client base.
Whatever
your goal might be, keep this in mind:
COMMONALITIES
CAN BE FOUND IF WE CREATE THE OPPORTUNITY FOR THEIR DISCOVERY.
The
following skills are based on that guiding principle.
Skill 1: Facilitate Discussion Groups
Among Employees and Colleagues of Diverse Backgrounds.
·
Recognize that
participants will be reluctant at first.
Some might fear awkwardness, language difficulties, or hostility.
·
Provide reassurance that
the purpose of the meeting is to get to know each other and nothing more.
·
Bring up subjects of
possible commonality. Job security,
family, sports, music, experiences coming to this country, and attitudes toward
the workplace are all areas where you might find shared interests and concerns.
·
Model the type of
conversation you are after.
(Example: Respond to a
participant's comment by showing how your own experience is similar.)
Skill 2: Arrange Social Activities.
·
Recognize logistical difficulties
when designing the activity.
(Example: Some employees may
have parents who can't be left alone in the evening or have child care
challenges on weekends.)
·
Choose activities with
the help of all groups. (Example:
Latino employees might prefer family picnics to cocktail parties because of the
value placed on extended family.)
·
If you are trying to
develop relationships with culturally diverse clients or customers, avoid
talking business at social activities - in most parts of the world, this is considered
inappropriate and pushy.
Skill 3: Arrange for Workplace Projects
That Bring People Together.
·
Continue your efforts to
develop diverse work teams. The more
people focus on common tasks, the easier it is to find commonalities in other
areas.
·
Do not let barriers such
as language, gender, and cultural differences discourage you.
·
Studies show: It can
take time for diverse people to learn to work together effectively but once
that adjustment is made, such teams have proven to be more productive and creative
than homogenous groups.
Skill 4: Uncover and Focus on Common
Goals.
·
Bring people together to
find out what goals they share. Do not
assume that just because people have different backgrounds they automatically
want different things.
·
Facilitate the
expression of these goals from all parties so you can achieve staff, customer,
or client buy-in.
·
Solicit ideas from
everyone as to how these goals might be achieved.
·
When conflicts arise,
even agreeing about the nature of the problem can be a big step toward finding
commonalities.
Skill 5: Look for Different “Versions”
of Similar Values.
·
All human beings value
Human Dignity; Social Support; Physical Comfort; and Security.
·
Differing individuals
and cultural groups may get these values met in different ways. (Example:
Some Asians get more dignity from a group achievement than from
individual credit and attention.)
·
Ask your staff,
colleagues, and customers how you can best meet their individual culturally
specific needs.
Skill 6: Reach Out to People Who Are
Different From Yourself.
·
Raise subjects that you
might not ordinarily address with someone from a particular group. (Examples:
Men might try talking about sports with women; Younger people might be surprised
how much older workers know about their music and lifestyle; immigrant workers may know a great deal more
about American pop culture than you might expect.)
·
Know that there is
always the risk of being rebuffed and embarrassed.
IF
YOU DO GET REBUFFED, REMEMBER THAT EACH INCIDENT AND EACH PERSON IS DIFFERENT.
DO NOT LET ONE BAD EXPERIENCE DISCOURAGE YOU.
·
Know that your effort
will be appreciated even if you can't find common ground and even if that
appreciation is not expressed.
·
You will be surprised
how often you will find shared interests, goals, and values that previously
went unnoticed.
Gender,
culture, age and all types of diversity tempt us to focus too much on how we
differ. By shifting the focus to common
bonds and goals we can honor diversity while building relationships that are
both productive and personally gratifying.