|
It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to
recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is. |
|
Hermann Hesse |
In the preceding
pages, we have looked at mediation as a conflict-resolution process that is
particularly helpful in dealing with disputes across cultures, both those that
occur because culture itself is the issue and those that occur because culture
is an overlay to other fundamental issues.
We have
highlighted aspects of culture that sensitive mediators can use to bridge
misunderstandings common in cross-cultural disputes. We have also illustrated several
basic types of mediations and the issues that might arise.
We have looked at a number of different intercultural situations suitable for mediation. We summarize by leaving you with some practical tips that may serve as checklists. We believe they underscore the relationship between mediation and culture.
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Prepare the Site
· Consider
using a round table.
· Supply
comfortable chairs that encourage disputants to relax.
· Position
yourself so that you can see and address all parties equally.
· See
to it that simple drinks (such as water, coffee, or tea) are available.
· Provide
writing implements and paper for notes.
· Check
that the room can provide privacy.
Prepare Yourself
· Organize,
in neutral terms, the facts you have about the dispute.
· Review
the principles of mediation.
· Think
about the aspects of culture that may be involved in the mediation.
· Remember
possible cultural differences such as values and attitudes, time sense, modes
of greeting, eye contact, and other non-verbal communication.
Review Your Intercultural Communication
Skills
· Building
trust
· Being
open
· Cultivating
patience
· Maintaining
a neutral position
· Listening
· Taking
into account non‑verbal communication (such as silence, greetings, and
eye behavior)
· Being
aware of your frame of reference and that of others
· Expressing
empathy
· Questioning
your own interpretative process
· Questioning
your assumptions
· Confirming
your ability to switch between direct and indirect communication
· Being
aware of your own and others’ stereotypes, biases, and prejudices
· Reacting
to issues and ideas, not to people
· Remembering
that each individual belongs to many different groups
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Behaviors That Help
· Adopting
appropriate greetings and introductions
· Using
disputant-preferred names
· Using
reassuring gestures
· Showing
empathy/courtesy
· Offering
helpful suggestions to aid the process (not the content)
· Using
clear, concise language and active listening
· Checking
accuracy of inferences and assumptions
· Developing
positive communication skills
Behaviors That Hinder
· Failing
to acknowledge each person as an individual
· Keeping
people waiting
· Laughing
at the expense of others
· Jumping
to conclusions
· Being
judgmental
· Using
unclear communication (slang and acronyms)
· Failing
to take into account culture-specific behavior
Non-Verbal Behaviors That Affect Mediation
Non-verbal
communication conveys messages as powerfully as the spoken word and, like the spoken
word, is culturally determined and easily misinterpreted. In fact, even within
the same culture, non-verbal communication is often unclear.
Following are
examples of behaviors that have different meanings in different cultures:
· nodding
· eye
contact
· smiling
· voice
(volume, pitch, silence)
· touching
(hugs, greetings, reassurances)
· shrugging
shoulders
· gestures
(hand signals, finger snapping, showing the sole of the foot)
·
posture (crossed arms, crossing legs, leaning
forward or backward, head lowered)
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· Know
yourself and your normal responses.
· Paraphrase
participants’ feelings and positions.
· Help
disputants paraphrase each other’s statements to ensure understanding.
· Look
for the underlying cause of difficulty.
· Look
for differences in values.
· Describe
disruptive behavior without judgment.
· Check
behaviors for clues as to what is taking place.
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· Use
uncomplicated language and clear explanations.
· Speak
clearly and avoid slang and idioms.
· Summarize
what each person has said to assure each that you have understood.
· Clarify
and confirm what you have said to help the listener understand.
· Check
for understanding, avoiding “Yes/No” questions.
· Pause
longer when waiting for responses; allow time for the other person to reply.
· Allow
non-native speakers to finish their sentences by themselves. (Remember, many
cultures are extremely comfortable with silence.)
· Remember
that language fluency does not equal cultural fluency.
· Encourage
co-mediation as a positive approach to take advantage of different mediators’
styles.
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I.
Thou shalt be aware of the impact of culture on
behavior, especially on communication.
II.
Thou shalt be prepared to look at peoples’ responses to
a situation from points of view other than thine own.
III.
Thou shalt learn to deal with ambiguity, including
unexpected demands and unanticipated approaches to resolving disputes.
IV.
Thou shalt understand that biases and stereotypes often
get in the way and need to be recognized.
V.
Thou shalt carefully observe the behavior of others
before coming to any conclusions.
VI.
Thou shalt challenge thy assumptions about other
cultures and help others challenge theirs.
VII.
Thou shalt always be willing to seek out answers to
difficult questions about culture.
VIII.
Thou shalt strive to build rapport with people having
different values.
IX.
Thou shalt be willing to adapt thy communication style
when the situation demands it.
X.
Thou shalt always keep in mind the three cardinal rules
of mediating across cultures:
Patience, Patience, and Patience!
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Listed below are
a few of the contemporary books that will provide useful background on Conflict Resolution Across Cultures: From
Talking it out to Third Party Mediation:
Adler, Nancy J. International
Dimensions of Organizational Behavior. Boston, MA: Kent Publishing Company,
1986.
Asaute, M. K., E.
Newman, and C. Blake, eds. Handbook of Intercultural Communications.
Beverly Hills, CA: Sage Publications, 1979 (Annual).
Casse, P., and S.
Deol. Managing Intercultural Negotiations. Yarmouth, ME: Intercultural
Press, 1985.
Condon, John C.,
and Fathi Yousef. An Introduction to Intercultural Communications. New
York, NY: Macmillan Publishing Company, 1985.
Farb, P. Word
Play: What Happens When People Talk? New York, NY: Alfred A. Knopf,
1974.
Fisher, G. International
Negotiation: A Cross-Cultural Perspective. Yarmouth, ME: Intercultural
Press, 1980.
Fisher, Roger,
and William Ury. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In.
Boston, MA: Penguin Books, 1981.
Gilligan, Carol.
In a Different Voice. Boston, MA: Harvard University Press, 1982.
Gudykunst,
William B., and Young Yun Kim. Communicating with Strangers. Menlo Park,
CA: Addison-Wesley Publishing Co., 1984.
Hall, Edward T. Beyond
Culture. Garden City. NJ: Anchor Press/Doubleday, 1976.
Hall, Edward T. The
Hidden Dimension. Garden City. NJ: Anchor Press/Doubleday, 1969.
Jandt, R. E. Win-Win
Negotiations: Turning Conflict into Agreement. New York, NY: John Wiley, 1985.
Klaus, R., and B.
M. Bass. Interpersonal Communication in Organizations. New York, NY:
Academic Press, 1982.
Kochman, Thomas. Black
& White Styles in Conflict. Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press,
1981.
Lantieri, Linda,
and Janet Patti. Waging Peace in our Schools. Boston, MA: Beacon Press,
1996.
Lewicki, R. J.,
and J. A. Litterer. Negotiation: Readings, Exercises and Cases.
Homewood, IL: Richard D. Irwin, 1985.
Loden, Marilyn,
and Judy B. Rosener. Workforce America! Managing Employee Diversity as a
Vital Resource. Homewood, IL: Business One Irwin, 1991.
Miller, Jean
Baker. Toward a New Psychology of Women. Boston, MA: Beacon Press, 1976.
Moore,
Christopher. The Mediation Process: Practical Strategies for Resolving
Conflict. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 1986.
Morris, Desmond. Gestures.
Great Britain: Triad/Granada Ltd., 1981. (Also available through Intercultural
Press, Yarmouth, ME.)
Roosevelt, Thomas
R., Jr., Redefining Diversity (New York, NY : AMACOM), 1996.
Scott, B. The
Skills of Negotiating. New York, NY: John Wiley, 1982.
Stewart, Edward
C. American Cultural Patterns: A Cross-Cultural Perspective. Yarmouth,
ME: Intercultural Press, 1981.
Tannen, Deborah. Talking
from 9 to 5: How Women’s and Men’s Conversation Styles Affect Who Gets Hard, Who
Gets Credit, and What Gets Done at Work. New York, NY: William Morrow,
1994.
Tannen, Deborah.
That’s Not What I Meant: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships.
New York, NY: Ballantine Books, 1986.
Tannen, Deborah. You
Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. New York, NY: William
Morrow, 1990.
Tavris, Carol.
Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster,
1982, 1989.
Thiederman,
Sondra. Bridging Cultural Barriers for Corporate Success: How to Manage the
Multicultural Work Force. Lexington, MA: Heath and Co., 1991.
Thomas, Roosevelt
R. Beyond Race and Gender: Unleashing the Power of Your Total Work Force by
Managing Diversity. New York, NY: AMACOM, 1981.
Ury, William. Getting
Past No: Negotiating with Difficult People. New York, NY: Bantam Books,
1991.
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Selma Myers,
M.A., has been an intercultural consultant for the past 16 years. She is
president of Intercultural Development Inc., a California-based company
specializing in intercultural training.
Ms. Myers is an
experienced mediator, trained initially by the San Diego Mediation Center. She
is co-author of seven trainer’s guides in the Diversity at Work Trainer’s
series.
Her client base
includes industrial companies, private and public universities, financial
institutions, utilities, health-care organizations, government departments,
trade associations, etc.
She helped found,
and was a director of, the American Language Institute at San Diego State
University, where she administered programs for foreign students and
businessmen.
Ms. Myers was a visiting
lecturer in residence at the Beijing Institute of Technology; recipient of a
Senior Fulbright Consulting Grant in South America; and a Summer Teaching
Fellow at Harvard University.
Ms. Myers designs and teaches intercultural communication and managing diversity courses for several universities.
Web Site: http://www.inetworld.net/smyers
Barbara Filner
directs the training program of the San Diego Mediation Center. She has a
Master’s degree from Indiana University and has worked in labor as well as
government fields. She has designed, developed, and conducted seminars and
workshops in conflict resolution for public and private sector groups since
1984.
Ms. Filner was
born in India and lived outside the United States for twenty years. She has
worked in a variety of culturally diverse settings and has attended Selma
Myers’ workshops on intercultural communication.
Ms. Filner has
also taught upper division and graduate courses in alternative dispute
resolution at the University of San Diego and San Diego State University.
In 1991, she
helped to develop and implement an innovative joint training program for labor
and management in mutual gains negotiations for the San Diego Community College
district. At the request of the county of San Diego and the juvenile dependency
court, she has also designed and implemented a unique negotiation protocol for
attorneys, social workers, and parents.
Ms. Filner is an
adjunct professor at the University of San Diego School of Law, where she
teaches negotiations. She is on the faculty of the ISO Institute in Austria.
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