Interacting with People from Other Cultures

These admonitions have been provided by Norine Dresser, author of Multicultural Manners: New Rules of Etiquette for a Changing Society (John Wiley & Sons, 1996) and other books dealing with cross-cultural relationships. More information about Ms. Dresser and her work can be found at norined@earthlink.net.

The following admonitions must be taken as general cautions and guides. There is as much variation in beliefs and practices within cultural and religious groups as there is across these groups. The best use of this material would be to increase your awareness about when to ask questions before proceeding with a formal greeting, giving a gift, and so forth. For example, if you are not sure whether or not to call someone by his/her first name, ask first. People would rather be asked than experience what they might perceive as an insult or something disrespectful.

GENERAL

The United States is a “tossed salad” of groups from all over the world. Therefore, do not assume that an exotic-looking person is not an American.

The forms of address differ among cultures; don’t assume that it is appropriate to address someone by his/her first name. In addition, the wife’s last name is not always the same as the husband’s. Ask first.

Don’t always expect direct answers to direct questions; many cultures address questions and issues in a more indirect way.

Not all cultures consider compliments in the same way. For example, complimenting an Orthodox Jewish woman or man on expecting a new baby might raise a worry that such a compliment would endanger the baby’s health. Again, ask before proceeding.

Relations between men and women, of course, are greatly affected by culture and religion. For example, among Muslims and Orthodox Jews, a man touching a woman under any circumstances would be considered a great affront and breach of appropriate behavior.

AFRICAN AMERICAN

Although a “high five” is a common mode of address among African American men, do not assume that it is appropriate to use. It is something that is done only with friends and respected colleagues.

ASIAN

People from different Asian cultures, like people from other cultures, have many kinds of beliefs and practices.

Southeast Asian:

• Appropriate dress for weddings and funerals differs among cultures. For example, wearing black to a Cambodian, Indian, or Thai wedding may be considered a death omen. Consult the host before deciding what to wear to a wedding.

Chinese:

• Ask before taking a picture of only three Chinese people together. Some Chinese believe that this puts the person in the middle in danger of dying.

• Some Chinese believe that a gift of white flowers is a death omen.

• Wearing black to a Chinese wedding may be considered a death omen.

• Avoid giving a gift of knives, scissors, or an umbrella as a birthday gift or to Chinese newlyweds, since some Chinese believe that this is an omen that the [relationship will be severed]. Giving an even number of objects to Chinese newlyweds may carry a similar meaning of an omen of separation.

• Avoid giving a gift of a clock as a birthday present or to Chinese newlyweds, since this is sometimes considered an omen of death.

• In addition, a gift of a white money-filled envelope to Chinese newlyweds is considered a death omen.

Japanese:

• Some Japanese believe that a gift of white flowers is a death omen.

• If one receives a gift from a Japanese person, ask before opening the present, since it is often believed that not asking first is disrespectful to the gift-giver.

• Avoid wrapping gifts for Japanese in white or black paper, since these color wrappings may be considered a death omen.

• Wearing black to a Japanese wedding may be considered a death omen.

• Giving an even number of objects to Japanese newlyweds may be considered an omen of separation.

• Many Japanese would consider it an insult if you were to crook your index finger and indicate that the person should come over.

HISPANIC

People from almost every culture have been in the United States for generations. One cannot assume, therefore, that people who look Hispanic and/or have Hispanic last names speak Spanish.

JEWISH

Many Jews, even those who are not obviously Orthodox, do not eat pork or pork products and avoid eating any kind of shellfish as well. Ask about dietary restrictions before deciding what to serve.

In the same way, many Jews, even those who are not Orthodox, would find it inappropriate and/or disrespectful for flowers to be sent to a funeral.

MUSLIM

Muslims observe the same dietary restrictions as those noted above for Jews. In addition, many Muslims avoid drinking alcohol.