THE BASICS OF HARASSMENT
What Is Harassment? To understand harassment, you need to know what it is as well as what it is not. Webster's New World Dictionary (Second College Edition) defines it as:
(1) Trouble persistently
(2) Discrimination on the basis of sex
(3) To trouble, worry, or torment
This sounds too simple, and the italicized words only reinforce the simplicity by sounding quite threatening. However, in the “real world,” what constitutes harassment is confusing and peppered with gray areas. We will take a test in a moment, but first let's see how you view yourself and your knowledge of the issues involving harassment.
If you place yourself in any square designated by a minus (-) sign, this is a problem you must address. The term “harassment” has too many interpretations for you to be comfortable with any understanding less than positive (+).
To get a better understanding, and to see if your self-assessment is accurate, let's take a test.
| IS IT HARASSMENT? |
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If you did not score well, don't be too concerned at this point. The purpose of this guide is to help you identify the gray areas. To understand why numbers 3, 4, 8, 9, 11, 12, and 13 are not considered harassment, you need to be aware of what harassment is and is not. You can understand the reasons if you look closely at the questions. We will take them one at a time.
| Question #3: | This is not harassment because it is a single flirtatious episode. The word "single" is important. The law does not eliminate sexuality from the workplace. It cannot be done. If someone flirts, the other person says "no," the word is taken at its face value, and the flirting is stopped, there is no harassment. Likewise, if the flirtation is not flagrant and if the behavior ceases when it is brought to the person's attention, it is not harassment.
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| Question #4: | The key word here is accidental. The thing to do is apologize and move on. | |
| Question #8: | Interviewing someone in a hotel room is questionable conduct, but it is not harassment. If you find yourself in this situation, leave the door open. | |
| Question #9: | If two people tell each other jokes of questionable workplace value and they both welcome the jokes, it is not harassment. | |
| Question #12: | Asking a person out on a date is not harassment. It becomes harassment if the person says no and the activity continues. | |
| Question # 13: | Complimenting someone is not harassment unless the person objects to it or the comments cross the line and become more personal. |
Some of these questions raise another important issue pertaining to the definition of harassment:
| Know your audience |
This simply means that what may be offensive to one person might not be to another. For example, if the two people telling the off-color joke in question #9 welcome the joke, it is not harassment. But if they are approached by a third party, the joke telling stops, especially if they know the new person will find it offensive. To reiterate, if they do not know the person's predisposition to offensive jokes, the joke telling stops.
Knowing your audience also comes into play in questions #5 and #11. If the sexy comment or the calendar is welcomed, there is no harassment. But one should always avoid anything that compromises a professional working environment, and these examples certainly come close to crossing the line. We will explore this whole area in more detail later, as we expand our discussion on the issue of harassment.
DIVERSITY
Any discussion of harassment must include the topic of diversity. It is defined in the New World Dictionary as follows:
(1) Quality, state, fact or instance of being diverse; differences
The French have a nice way of sounding the horn on the issue of diversity with the phrase “Vive le difference.”
A number of considerations surface as you delve deeper into the meaning. Factors such as one's culture, heritage, or experiences each uniquely shape an individual and how he or she perceives and even reacts to differing situations and issues. I was raised in the South and grew up with two stereotypes that, to this day, I wrestle with constantly: people from the South are all bigots and do not rate high on the intelligence scale. So what's the point? If you knew that these unfair stereotypes irritated me, would you approach me any differently? If you knew an African American resented the word “boy” because of its negative associations, would you avoid using the phrase? I think so. Here's a paraphrase to remember:
| Absolute understanding increases understanding absolutely. |
In other words, if we are cognizant of a person's predispositions, we can and should alter our behavior to avoid misunderstandings.
ASSESSING YOUR DIVERSITY CLIMATE:
A SURVEY
To discover if your organization is perceived as one that embraces the concept of diversity, ask your employees these simple questions:
| Diversity Management Questions |
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That's it. Eight questions to enlightenment. The responses could be eye-openers. A word of caution, however: anytime you survey, you set up the expectation that something will be done concerning the answers. If you are not prepared to deal with the responses, don't administer the survey.
As an example of responses, I administered this survey to a group of technicians at a computer manufacturing facility. The findings were frank and diverse. Here are some comments:
“There are two manufacturing sites here. The people at the other site look down on us because we are hourly workers.”
“Women and people of color must make a conscious effort to fit here; otherwise, we go unnoticed.”
The company referred to in these examples held sensitivity sessions to explore the comments further. They empowered the people to make recommendations on ways to improve. This is a good beginning.
| Empowerment creates ownership. |
VALUE SYSTEMS
As I said, the understanding of others begins only after we understand and take a close look at ourselves. What we are and what we say and do are based on our experiences and exposures. Let's look at the following:
The chart is not as complicated as it appears. Let's add clarity through definition.
The Conduct we display is evidenced in the various situations in which we are placed.
- At a rock concert I may stand and sing. Where I work I wouldn't think of letting anyone see that side of me.
We tend to Color things based on the ideas, ideals, and biases developed in each of us as a result of our culture, our geographical environment, and our teachings.
- He is from the South, so he must be a bigot and not very smart.
Our Convictions are the “actuals.”
- If we see a rock, we call it a rock.
All three have in common the fact that they are patterned, parental, and proven.
Patterned Behavior
Patterned behavior is “mirrored.” That is, a person will tend to emulate the behavior of someone they respect or admire.
Parental Behavior
Parental behavior is copied. If a parent is college educated, the son or daughter is more likely to want to go to college. If the parent is a strong disciplinarian, chances are that the child will display the same attribute later in life.
Proven Behavior
Proven behavior develops from the college of hard knocks. If I touch a hot stove, I know I will get burned.
These behaviors have three things in common:
- They take root early in our lives. Our formative years are generally birth to the mid-teens.
- They are continually reinforced by the environment and our surroundings, where we grow up, what we see others do, and how they react.
- They readily provide comfort. We tend to fall back on those things that are comfortable to us.
This brings us to the point of this review.
| The only constant is change. |
We cannot change, we will not change, unless we recognize and deal with our own biases.
| Identifying Bias & Behavior Exercise |
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Ask yourself the following questions and record your answers. Be honest with your responses.
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If the answer is “no” or even a qualified “maybe,” develop your action plan by asking yourself, What am I going to do about it? Get others to help you. Ask for their feedback. You should go no further in this book until you have challenged your perceptions.
WHAT HARASSMENT PREVENTION IS
Harassment and diversity go hand in hand. To eliminate harassment, you need to increase cultural and social awareness within your organization by coming to terms with your biases, beliefs, and behaviors. This should be understood, eventually, by every single person in your organization.
| Preventing Harassment |
We help prevent harassment when we:
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Frankly, use common sense. Stop signs do not send a signal to slow down. As I once heard it said, What part of no don't you understand? The “n” or the “o”?
Before we move on, let's revisit patterned behavior for a moment. It can be a powerful tool used to your advantage. How? By setting examples within the organization. In other words, let your actions speak for you. If your actions display a positive attitude, then chances are your employees will also approach the day with a positive outlook. If your attitude is one that helps others, chances are good that a helping hand will be offered by others.
| Positive displays yield positive results. |
Harassment, as you can see from this review, is a complex issue. To understand it better we will expand its meaning in the next chapter by looking at additional definitions.